The Elegant Gentleman’s Guide To Knife Fighting – a complaint on behalf of Prius Owners everywhere

I have just sent the following letter of complaint to ABC-TV.  Since it is riven with left-wing bias and post-modern wankery I don’t expect a reasoned response of even a response.  Therefore I post this to my blog in the hope to raise awareness of this insidious attack on our society.

UPDATE: 9/04/2013 10:51. My complaint has been received by Audience & Consumer Affairs and been allocated a reference number.  “The ABC endeavours to respond to complaints within 30 days of receipt. However, please be aware that due to the large volume of correspondence we receive, and the complex nature of some matters, responses may at times take longer than this.”

Dear Sir/Madam

I would like to register a complaint about “The Elegant Gentleman’s Guide To Knife Fighting” episode 1 as shown on ABC 1 on Wednesday 3 April 2013 (not including subsequent re-broadcasts or iView). While I appreciate that the show does as it says in its promotional material and has saved me the time of watching two separate programs for the guidance of elegant gentlemen and knife fighting, it has failed me terribly in another respect. I refer of course to the recurring sketch of the dinner party guest who owns a Prius.  He is depicted as a sociopath who forces the other guests to live out his sick fantasies, powerless to resist his urges.  He is shown bullying the guests, forcing two females to kiss in a provocatively sexual manner, emasculating the males and humiliating the guests to perform “Scarborough Fair” as various states of undress and bondage.  As a Prius owner myself I must naturally object in the strongest possible terms to a characterisation of a Prius owner as one who is ignorant of the specifications and capabilities of his Prius.

EV Mode or EV mode?

The Prius Owner (PO) arrives unannounced to the surprise of the Dinner Party Guests (DPG) by virtue of running his car silently in EV mode.  However, he wrongly suggests that 24km/h is the maximum speed that can be attained in this mode.  If PO were a real Prius owner he would have known that Stealth Mode can be maintained at 66km/h in the NHW11* (2001 – 2003) and NHW20 (2004 – 04/2009) and 74km/h in the current ZVW30 (05/2009- ).  And even if he meant EV Mode (not EV mode) by pressing the EV button, this Mode is disabled at 40km/h, as long as the car in in Stage 3 or Stage 4.  That is a schoolboy error.

* Note: I’m ignoring the NHW10 Japan-only model (1997-2000) that may have been obtained by grey import for reasons that, if not already obvious, soon will be.

What is the sound of shaking Prius car keys?

Secondly, PO goads the DPG by shaking his car keys.  This is particularly puzzling since neither the NHW20 nor the ZVW30 have keys in the normal sense as all Australian-delivered Prii have the Smart Key System.  Any metal key would have been concealed within the black, plastic keyfob, which was clearly not present. Perhaps he was referring to the NHW11 model, which did have keys but also had a keyfob.  However this is obviously not an explanation as PO declares that he obtains a fuel consumption figure of 3.7 litres per 100km, which corresponds to the ADR 81/02 extra-urban cycle figure for the ZVW30, which busts the myth of the rattling keys.

“Because I get 3.7l/100km.”  Oh really?

Thirdly, PO stated that he gets 3.7l/100km, not merely that its ADR81/02 figure obtained under laboratory conditions is 3.7l/100km.  Here’s where the mystery deepens further.  Under real-world conditions, the average fuel consumption for the ZVW30 Prius is 5.0l/100km when the variety of driving conditions, techniques and climates are taken into account. It should be obvious to the even casual observer that PO must be intimately aware of the capabilities of his Prius and hypermiling techniques such as Stealth, Pulse and Glide, Warp Stealth, Super Highway Mode and Driving Without Brakes (notice that I have not mentioned drafting) to achieve the ADR81/02 figure.  That is not to say that such a feat is impossible; there is a 1000 mile club for Prius drivers, which corresponds to slightly better than 2.8l/100km for some 1609 km.  However, it is clear that PO’s poor knowledge of his own vehicle and, we can safely assume, poor knowledge of driving technique would make his claim of 3.7l/100km impossible to sustain.

Naturally, I can also dismiss the notion that his Prius has a plug-in conversion (See EV Mode or EV mode).    In short, I bet the character doesn’t even own one.

It is just this sort of misrepresentation of the Prius and their owners that I have sadly come to expect.  Should PO be a  regular character I can’t imagine what ignorance he will display next.  ABC has probably bought the series so there’s probably little you could be bothered to do about any future episodes.

BTW, I have owned a Prius for just over 1 year, so I am eminently qualified to comment.

Good day to you… I said GOOD DAY!

Must-See TV – All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace

(“Must-see” is a relative term.  This 3-part documentary can be fairly hard-going.  I first saw the series along with several other works by Adam Curtis early this year, so I’ve had the chance to view them a few times; first to let them wash over and again to drill down deeper.)

Adam Curtis is a film-maker and journalist with particular interest in sociology, philosophy and political history.  It’s quite hard to describe his work.  All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace  joins together Ayn RandAlan Greenspan, the Asian miracle, the New Economy, the 1997 Asian Financial Crisis, China and stability.  And that’s just the first episode.

The first episode was shown on SBS TWO Thursday night at 8:30pm, however you can watch the first episode of three on SBS On Demand.

Did you know that the 1994 Rwandan Genocide had its origins in the Belgian colonisation in the 1930’s?

These are not conspiracy theory films.  Instead they show that interconnectedness and self-correction of systems is misunderstood and exaggerated.

Adam Curtis’ style of film-making is distinct too.  Lots of archival footage, interesting music (Pizzicato Five does the intro) and stark titles are his signature.

All three are worth watching.  My advice is to take them at face value and then do some research.  Sounds like homework.

Must See TV (possibly) – Noel Fielding’s Luxury Comedy


I’m not entirely sure that I should recommend Luxury Comedy.  It is very bizarre and doesn’t have anything like the cogent story lines that everyone could relate to in The Mighty Boosh.

By way of experiment I lent a copy of episode 1 to a colleague whose appreciation of the absurd and Gary Numan should have placed him firmly into the “Must See” camp.  But he was unable to watch the full episode.  (He did enjoy “paprika alert” but by then it was too late.)

So… perhaps I could recommend NFLC to anyone who watched the Banana Splits as a child and appreciated the absurdity and understood the extensive drug references and utter pointlessness of it all.  There…. easy.

Thursday nights ABC1 repeated Saturday in the wee hours on ABC2

Categories TVTags

Must See TV – February / March 2012 Edition

First is James May’s Man Lab on SBS ONE Monday 27 February at 2030.  Hard to go past this man’s well-written and -executed programs especially when he’s not with the other two.

The first series of 3 programs will show a man how to disarm a WWII bomb, shine a shoe and seduce a lady with music.  And I’m not just saying that because that’s what I read on wikipedia; I’ve actually watched them.  Maybe SBS will show the 5 episodes of series 2 straight after; I haven’t seen those.

Another gem is/will be Danger 5 on SBS ONE Monday 27 February at 2130.  If you thought that Team America World Police was OK, you’ll probably like Danger 5.  It is an Australian production based on a comic.  Here’s the teaser called Danger 5: The Diamond Girls.

Sadly Danger! 50,000 Volts! is still not on free-to-air.  This could be described as Nick Frost’s take on James May’s Man Lab, but that might be unfair to both.

Categories TV

The Iron Chef experiences are adding up! (Kyo no theme – KYOTO!)

There are some foods associated with Iron Chef: Fois gras; truffles; matsutake mushrooms; hamo (pike conger eel); consomme jelly and piiman (capsicum).  Last night I had 3 in a single meal.

Menu (Left to right)
First entrée was chestnuts, ham, cheese and

Second entrée
matsutake mushroom croquette. Second was abalone, sanma and piiman.

First entrée
Third course
Hamo and snapper carpaccio seasoned with hamo bones was next.  It’s the one with lots of bones that needs lots of cuts to remove the flesh; featured in 3 battles.

Next was something with cons0mme  jelly (I’ll translate later).

Something with consomme jelly (arty photo too) Then the three mains that we chose: Pork Cutlets; Hamburger; Duck.

Pork Katsu



To show the rice course in its best, I had it with curry.

I have no idea how much this cost as I was too slow to get the o-kanjou.

Curry rice